Saturday, July 30, 2016

Our Death 7 / On Being a Good Person


Time and again I tell myself I’ll stay clean tonight - David Bowie

It is important to be on good terms with the neighbours. To discuss with them your fears about the meaning of your passport. To share with them the results of your investigations into the meaning of the rent equation. It is important to explain the central mathematics of the noises they’ll have heard coming from your apartment at random hours of the day and night. To demonstrate both the internal and external nature of those hours, and their connection with the signals you receive from the lights in windows you can see from your balcony, and how those signals reflect the secret passions contained in your passport, and how all of this determines how many times a day you think about suicide, and murder. Think about, not contemplate. That’s a very important distinction, and one not unrelated to the enormous electronic screech you sometime hear coming from what you can only assume must be the centre of the earth. Always make it clear that the centre of the earth is more than likely not where they think it is. That there are storms that have been raging there for longer than the collective age of everyone who lives in this city, both documented and undocumented. That you love only sex workers, drug addicts, refugees and the terminally ill. That most mornings you think they are the only people deserving of citizenship. That you are disturbed by the hatred continually emitting from the drawer in which you keep your passport. It is important they understand how that hatred’s foul metallic shriek is in no way connected with the way in which you would like to continue to conduct your business. That your business is somehow connected with the scorched and horrific colours the sky produces as it sends murderous darts through your window each evening between the hours of 8 and 9. The reasons you have for burying those darts in the shallowest earth. The meaning of the gentle sounds you make as you do this. It is important to be on good terms, to share your knowledge, your sugar, your brightly coloured powders.

2 comments:

Peter Bouscheljong said...
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Peter Bouscheljong said...

I read all your texts with big enthusiasm. Consolation in lousy times. Thanks.
So I see you read Artaud again.
"My whole work has only been an could only built on this nothingness, on this carnage, this skirmish of extinguished fires, of dried-up cries and slaughter, one does nothing, one says nothing, but one suffers, one despairs and one fights, yes, I believe that one really does fight.- (...) The struggle has started up again further below, so what? A scabrazage for perpetuity? An infinite scraping at the wound. The infinite plowing of the slit from where the wound emerged" Artaud to Peter Watson